Now that I’m finally almost on a break from my jewelry business (officially after tomorrow when I send out orders), I can focus on the next steps for my photography career! I honestly 😞put my photography story-telling goals on pause ever since I started this business.  I have so many ideas that I want to make reality, I just need to put my eggs in order and choose which one idea I want to try first. I’ve failed so many times with ideas. One of my ideas was a digital magazine I tried to start maybe three years ago? It was an grand idea except I didn’t have the bandwidth or long-term interest to actually put in the work to make it real. I had another idea of doing a second part to my 100 Women of Color project but that beautiful brain and heart child of mine had it’s time. It’s now 2021 and I want to hold a creative and emotional space for all marginalized genders, not just women. One of the top ten things I want to do on this break is 1. Watch the Harry Potter movies again! 2. Run at the park twice a week  3. Create a consistent routine around caring for my body and caring for my mind. 4. Go on a hike! 5. Nap more with our cats. 6. Cook new dishes for me and my family ❤️ 7. Practice EFT and other breathing-exercises. 8. Make a new friend 9. Get back on Hinge. 10. Dye my hair more orange 🍊

Photo by Aliaksei on Unsplash

I think it’s finally settled into our bodies the reality of the loss of the ways we used to live. For better and for worse, our structures are in their final moments of collapse. Within that, there’s been a collapse, personally, of the way things were in my life. This year has taught me loss and grief that will live with me for the rest of my days. This year has revealed to me the ways I’ve used my shadows to hurt others and how I’ve created attachments out of fear. This year has taught me that our best kept illusions of community and family will no longer exist. It’s over and now we must reflect, change, imagine and build new ways of relating with each other.  2021 has tested my faith in love, my faith in myself and my faith in others. 

~change of subject~

Some interesting things I’ve learned as of late, I’d like to share with you!

1. The New York Public Library has a new library building! It has the only free rooftop I believe, in NYC. The library is called the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Library . It’s a beautiful modern library with plenty of spaces to work indoors (masks on obvi) and if you take the elevator to the top floor, they have little coffee pop up before you walk through the doors that lead to their rooftop. 

2. I learned that digitally, I hoard lots of screenshots of sidereal astrology, herbalism and relationship information I honestly don’t need to save. I had a deletion party with myself and a cup of perfect coffee a few nights ago. I also realized I haven’t been the best at archiving my photography work so I am doing a solid comb through of my files this week.

3. I learned that the faith I entrusted in the universe, in God and in my loving ancestors is noticed. I learned that my prayers and pleas for relief are tended.